Show Compassion

In a time before now...

In a place not here...

Master Chen and Foo...

SHOW COMPASSION

Warrior sage Master Chen was lecturing to his apprentice Foo on the virtues
of compassion when Foo interupted him.

"Master," said Foo, "I do not understand compassion."

"Foo, you do not understand anything," said Master Chen, "But you understand
that you do not understand, so ask your questions."

"Master," said Foo, "you say that we must have compassion for all living things."

"That is correct," said Master Chen.

"Plants and animals are living things," said Foo.

"That is also correct," said Master Chen.

"If I show compassion to all living things," said Foo, "I cannot harm or kill
any plants or animals. But then I will have nothing to eat. So what do I do?"

"Foo," said Master Chen, "are you asking me if you should starve yourself to
death in order to be compassionate?"

"Yes," said Foo, "I am."

"Yes, Foo," said Master Chen, "You should starve yourself to death."

Foo sat in stunned silence as the Master continued.

"Also, let poisonous snakes bite you, let wild animals eat you alive, let greedy
people take everything you have, and let one or more psychotic killers stab you
in the face multiple times."

And Foo was enlightened slightly more than he was before.

"Foo," said Master Chen, "You have that stupid enlightenment expression
on your stupid face again. You aren't enlightened, stupid, so just stop being
stupid...stupid!"

"But Master," said Foo, "Are you not teaching me that my questions are
foolish, and that every virtue must be judged and balanced by wisdom?"

"No," said Master Chen, "I literally just want you to die and leave me in
peace. If I had my sword with me I would...CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!...but I left my
sword at home...and I am feeling a bit bloated and gassy...not really in a
head-chopping mood...so, today, you must kill YOURSELF with compassion."

"Oh, master," said Foo, "I love you, too."

"That's it," said Master Chen, rising to his feet, "I'm getting my sword."

So ends the lesson of SHOW COMPASSION.