Honk if you are an idiot

The purpose of a car horn is to communicate with others, to warn others, not to bully them.

For those of you who suffer from the delusion that other people care about your banal, impulsive opinions or immature emotional outbursts, rest assured that we don't.

Stop crying wolf with your horn.

Your time would be better spend focused on learning the right-of-way rules at an intersection or talking to a therapist or punching yourself repeatedly in the face.

In order to protect the rest of us from the insecure and the self-righteous and the foolish horn honkers of the world, I propose a limit on the number of weekly horn honking events. This will include a maximum amount of time a driver can spend honking the horn continuously.

After the predetermined thresholds are reached, the car horn will blare out random phrases in a whiny, nasal voice. These phrases may include one or more of the following:

"I'm LONE-LEEEEEE!!"
"Everyone HATES me!"
"I'm sexually re-PRESSED!!"
"Me SMART! Me push HORN!"
"Pay ATTENTION to MEEE-EEE!!"
"I'm a moron! I'm a moron! I'm a moron! I'm a moron!"
"DUUUUUH-HUUUUUUUUH-HUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!!"

In addition, repeat offenders will be punished with one or more of the following random events:

1. The horn will stay on continuously for 24 hours
2. The horn will fire off at random intervals between 2:00 am and 5:00 am
3. The horn will honk at the driver at twice the normal volume as they approach the car
4. The horn will fire off inside of the car on speakers pointed directly at the driver's head

Honking a car horn is a privilege not a right. Treat it as such.